Farewell!

As I have spent the last few days of Christmas break at my parents house and am preparing to leave early in the morning, I am struck with the realization that with their impending move I will probably not  come to this house again. This is not the first home I lived in. It is the 3rd. Whenever we drive by our previous homes it is strange to me to see another family living there where I had my memories. As my life has no permanency to it and has not for many years once constant for me has been my parents home and my in laws home. Both are in Southern California. My Husband and I were raised here and would like to die here. (We know logically eventually we will move somewhere freezing but we can dream.)

I have been trying to figure out what is so strange to me about this move. I don't feel depressed are sad that my parents are going to Utah. Why they would want to leave Southern California is beyond me. My family will end up who knows where. I don't expect them to stay here in the hopes that we do. I figured out it is the memories of this house. I wonder if they will be as clear without being able to visit. This house was the perfect place to live in our teen years. 6 Bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, Pool, Spa, Sauna, Fire Pit, Trampoline (until recently), a huge hill to play and pretend on (or make out). Everyone loved this house. It was perfect. We have had countless Weddings, Birthdays, Baby Blessings, Anniversary's, Pool Party's. When I was in High School the last few years everyone just started showing up on weekends to hang out. It was where we always were. When we weren't at Top Of The World anyway.

The pool and diving board alone will be enough to make me sad to say goodbye. I LOVE LOVE LOVE to swim and dive. As a child I wanted to be an Olympic Diver. I even took some lessons. The freedom, & joy diving and swimming bring to me is indescribable. If my dreams of being a mermaid came true I would never leave the water. I remember many summer days of only wearing a swim suit and only getting out to eat and use the bathroom. I have even been known to swim in February and no the pool was not heated.

You know that it was always decorated to the maximum amount. No one will ever be able to do what my mom did during the holidays. I wonder if the house will be sad and feel unloved without all the detail my mom put into things. I know the house will defiantly be lonely without my siblings and our family's returning occasionally. It has seen all 6 of us get married and start and in many cases complete our family's. It has seen us through terrible tragedy's  Death, Divorce, Injuries, Illnesses but has been there for many more Celebrations.

It feels very surreal almost like I am in a movie thinking about not returning here. When I think about growing up, this house is such a big part of it. I wish so much I had a house like this for my kids to grow up in. A place big enough to have as many friends come over as you can invite. A place where people want to come. I want my children and their friends to spend time where I can keep and eye out and in our current situation they don't always want to because of the size. I realize we were terribly lucky to have grown up this way. At some points our house was very crowded. 6 kids, 2 of them married one with a baby and my parents all lived here at the same time for a while. While it wasn't always easy this house made it possible.

I do realize that a lot of the credit that I paying to the house really belongs to my parents. Two People who don't like to be cold or hot have decided to move to Utah. I guess that's what happens when your 2 sons move 2 blocks away from each other.

I am saying my Farewell to this house in the morning. I hope it remembers me the way I remember it. I know to my children this will always be what they think of as Grandma and Grandpa Shaw's Home.