Working

So in November I was Hired at Michaels craft store. When I started putting out applications the one thing my hubby said was "don't work at Michaels or Lane Bryant it will end up costing us money". On the contrary I have had little time to do the hobby's I so enjoy since I started working so that has not been problem.
The problem is wrapping my brain around my new role in life and how our family is now going to function(or at least attempt to).

I have always admired, been jealous of, and felt bad for working mothers. I have admired how hard they work to support their family's and still make sure the house and children are taken care of. I have been jealous of the time they get to spend away from their homes and family to do something that deals with other adults. I have always felt bad for the many woman who want to stay home but can't. For the working mothers who miss the field trips, class plays, and getting to work in the classroom.
I have always had a job of some sort but one that was part time and I could set the hours so I could do the crazy things that I wanted to. When  I was hired in November I thought I would have 15-20 hours a week. Little did I know that they were going to put me at 40 hours rather quickly. This was a huge adjustment for my family and myself. One of the things that has been hard about it is the fact that I love the job. It is a long 8 hours of running non stop helping people figure out ways to complete their craft projects. Once my feet didn't feel like they had been at Disneyland for a year this was all great. I really didn't expect to like it this much. Everyone who works their is great and hard working. The break room is always full of treats that people bring in to share. It is a fun place to be. Busy, Crazy, Messy, Crafty Fun place. I am having mommy guilt however that while I am there in the Crafty place I think very little of my family. I do feel bad about many of the mommy jobs I don't do anymore. A few weeks into the job I had a very busy week and I had worked 10 days in a row. One customer started talking to me about all the demands with school the last week before winter break. I was agreeing with the fact I had 3 places to be the next day and had had no time to prepare or bake anything. She put her hand on my shoulder and said "Dear some things need to be left to the Stay at Home Moms". While I don't fully agree with that statement it was the first time I was forced to realize that I am no longer a stay at home mom. I really don't want my kids to be left on their own. Mostly I don't want my youngest to miss out on the things my first 2 got to have with my staying at home. So far we have worked it out so either myself or my hubby have been home with them after school. Days off of school are going to be the hardest but occasionally it is not a problem. Summer time is what I am concerned about but I don't want to worry prematurely. Gratefully this job is very flexible and understanding of a busy life. I am able to request not to work on the nights my hubby needs to be gone or when the kids have special events with school. I am sooo grateful for this flexibility.
Working has been an adjustment. One thing I learned is that my hubby would make a great stay at home dad. He has truly stepped up to the challenge. He has not once expected me to do all of what I use to around the house and keep working full time. As of right now my hours are less and He is teaching 3 classes. My hours will be increasing again soon as well as one of my new rolls as the papercrafting/scrapbooking instructor at the store. I am super excited about this.


One thing we have done is assigned one night a week for the boys to be in charge of dinner. We planned the meals they would cook together and planned for a month at a time. They also have their assigned chores for the week and personal chores that must be done daily in addition to homework. As long and we stay on top of this I think we might make it without falling apart.

I don't know what my purpose of this post is other than to express my conflicted feeling. Going through all of this over the holidays did make them go by in a blur and I do feel a bit sad that they flew by without me. We did have a great Christmas and thanks to some wonderful Santa's our kids had a great Christmas.

I have never understood the Mommy wars. I have never felt like one side works harder than the other or that one is right and one is wrong. They are both hard and both must have sacrifices and triumphs.