Cheeky our Elf

This year we had a great surprise  Some Unknown person delivered an Elf on the Shelf via Amazon. We don't have any idea who this person is. I want to say Thank You .   At a time when we were incredibly stressed out. See previous posts as to why. Being able to adopt our elf we call Cheeky gave us something excited to look forward to every day. Even my big kids were excited to see what he had done while we were sleeping. For my hubby and I it gave us a reason to do something fun and silly at night to surprise the kids which was a much needed distraction. My Hubby really got into it. The Evil Gingerbread man trapping Cheeky in the Manger was completely his idea and he did it all by himself. Now that Christmas has passed and Cheeky has returned to the North Pole we really miss him. Elliot misses talking to him every day and asking him questions. I miss having something fun to do for the kids every night. Cheeky was a very good listener. One day Elliot told him he really wanted Candy Canes and the next morning Cheeky was hanging in Elliot's stocking and all the boys stocking had a Candy Cane sticking out of it. Another day Cheeky heard Dylan talking about how much he wanted to make sugar cookies but Gluten Free mixes were hard to find and make. Cheeky left us regular and Gluten Free mixes that week. Elliot said Cheeky was really helpful. He really liked the fact that Cheeky decorated the fridge to look like a snowman since we had seen that on Pinterest and wanted to do that. Since Cheeky did it we didn't have to. Thank you Cheeky for all the surprises you left for us. We can't wait to see you next year.

16th Anniversary

Chandler was 1 day old.

Ok so we got married young. No shock there. The day we had been married 6 months we found out we were expecting. Surprise! Life has been full of surprises ever since. (I don't have a wedding photo digitally yet but the one below was taken on our second anniversary at the San Diego Temple where we were married. 

4th year of Marriage

Our Anniversary is 3 days after Christmas. When we got married everyone said "oh are you sure you want to get married that close to Christmas." What they should have been saying is "oh since Eric is going to go into English in a few years do you think it wise to get married the same week as MLA. The Modern Language Convention where he will miss the bulk of your anniversary's. Even if he has not left yet he will be so occupied with preparing for interviews that you won't see each other anyway"

In Fairness to Eric he always tries to  make up for it somehow. For our tenth anniversary we went on a fabulous cruise. We spent more time together on that cruise than most of our marriage. It is amazing how much fun we can be without kids hanging on us all the time. Don't get me wrong I love our kids but we needed the break.

This is our most recent family picture and is about 18 months old.

Summer of 1996 the year we were married.

Did you know my husband and his entire family are obsessed with Diet Coke. Yes I know how bad it is for you but try to stop them and there may be bloodshed. We have pictures of them with soda at every major event in their lives. Weddings, births of babys, Baptisms, blessings you name it.

Last summer

Is it just me or has he gotten cuter over the years. Yes in the background of this picture is all relatives on the Nebeker side.

I would like to say 16 years of marriage has been all candy and roses. But that is not the truth nor should it be. A strong marriage must go through trials to be able to test it's limits and know that you will stand by each other not matter what. We got married young. We grew up together. We have both changed immensely. We have both accepted each others changes and tried to love them even if we don't agree with them. In 3 years I will have been married as long as I lived before getting married. People ask me all the time if I regret getting married young. The answer is no. There are many things I missed out on. But there are many things I enjoyed. My Children will be grown while I am still young enough to enjoy their Daughters that they will give me. I often wonder if we had been more set in our ways if we would have been flexible enough to handle the challenges that were put in our path. So today we celebrate 16 Years of Chaos that has been totally worth it. 

Interviews

Since I have asked you all not to ask but I know that you want to know. Eric has 6 interviews scheduled. That is more than normal for him so hope is happening. Let's just hope that this hope isn't crushed as in years past. Thank you for your thoughts, prayers  words of encouragement  I know that they are all said out of love. This has just been a long battle for us.

On a side note. Thank you to all the Santa's in my life that have helped make Christmas happen for our family this year. You know who you are. THANK YOU!

P.S. Don't make sock monkeys out of fuzzy socks. They turn out more like alien, sheep, bunny's.
Gratefully my kids like strange stuff so I think they will still like them.

Chandler and the Lady Friends.

They were suppose to dress as their favorite Homestuck character but in ugly Christmas sweater fashion.
This is them ready to leave. 

Ever since Chandler was in Kindergarten his best friends have always been girls. It just is that way. Currently Chandler and the Lady Friends are obsessed with Manga or Japanes animation. There is a specific web comic called homestuck that they are hooked on in a big way. This last weekend there was a fan based event in Orange County. I was talked into  volunteered to drive Chandler and the ladies  down there. We left on Friday night spent the night at my sisters house and then from 11 am -6pm they were scheduled to be at downtown Disney for this fan event. Well with everyone being online all the time this event was changed last minute to a park in Anaheim  I had already dropped off the kids and was shopping with my mom when Chandler send me a text saying the location is changed and it is at a park 2 blocks away can we walk there? I consented after he sent me the address and name of the park. I was very nervous though. After my mom and I were done we went over to check out the park. This is what we saw. An extremely large group of kids mostly high school age dressed up in costume acting like they were all best friends  I love that they have something like this to bond over. There are so many terrible things out there a bunch of teenagers getting there geek on over a comic book is heavenly to me.

After the park they walked back to Down Town Disney and were suppose to have a large group dinner at Rain Forest Cafe. Oh did I mention that this park was more like 2 miles away not 2 blocks. I felt really bad about the amount of walking they had to do but I had some very important things that needed to get done while I was there with my Mom. After they got back to Downtown Disney they found out that the dinner had been changed as well. Now it was at the Dennys across from Disneyland. At this point it was already 7pm and we still had to drive back to Santa Barbara so I just picked the kids up and they got In N Out instead. 

2 Things that I am SOOOO Grateful for out of this experience. 

1. When they all got in the car not one of them complained about the walking or missing dinner. They only spoke about how much fun they had and the new friends they had made.

2. With all the anxiety that this day caused for me I am grateful that my concern was never for what Chandler and his friends would do during the day. I was only concerned about what the unknown strangers would do. Our Joking rule for the day was 

Don't get Arrested or Molested!

Parenting a teenager and trying to keep them safe while allowing them to mature and make necessary mistakes is a fine line to juggle. In some ways I am WAY STRICT but in others I try to trust him as much as possible. I have many parents ask why I am willing to go on these trips and do things like Anime Expo. My answer is a result of a wise friend. Kids, good kids are told no so often in life that we should say yes whenever possible. I try really hard to keep that in mind. I do learn a ton about my son and his friends and have a great time as well. Looking forward to many more Manga adventures in my future!

Hope!

Of all the words in the English Language right now HOPE could possibly be the scariest one for me. Eric does in fact have a job interview. I know that it takes a lot more than just one interview. I know that this probably does not mean anything. I know that a couple of thousand dollars will most likely be wasted on flights and hotel rooms in Boston for the Modern Language Association Convention where this and any other interviews will take place. Without an interview we have been living in a state of fear of what to do next but knowing that a change in venue will need to happen. We have been mentally preparing for what to do next and looking into our options. Now with this small tiny mount of hope it puts our life back into stagnation of the waiting. WAITING. Waiting for more interviews, Waiting for Second interviews, Waiting for Fly Backs, Waiting for and official offer. My poor hubby has had all of these and more in the past and the waiting is dreadful. Every time the phone rings we jump in Hope. Every time there is an Unusual email, or snail mail from a school we get Hope. Ultimately we always get let down. The soul can only take so much of this. Now we have this dreaded Hope that maybe this could be it. How much more is it going to hurt in the long run if this is not the Magic Place we have been waiting for. I know my last post was on this topic but since I am now getting multiple phone calls and emails a day asking if he has any interviews yet (I know this is all done in love) I felt that another post was justified. Here are things you should never say to someone like me.

*Have faith and it will all work out. While I believe this what most people don't grasp is that most of the time it does not work out the way we hoped, planned, dreamed, expected.
*As long as you work hard you will always do well and succeed. Really People Really. That is not how the world always works. Example. Look at Paris Hilton, and the Kardashians. Why do I or any of you even know who they are. They did not get there money from hard work.
*Don't let it get you down. What else am I suppose to do. I am human and grief is an essential part of recovering from tragedy. Yes at this point in my life I equate my husbands job search with tragedy.
*God will bless you if you believe. I have been told this from people of all faiths. I love god and truly believe in him. I do not believe he loves me more than the many jobless families all over the world or the children being sold into prostitution, or to produce our chocolate. Bad things happen. That is the plan God set out for us. Without pain we can't truly know joy. So many of the bad things in this world are done by the evils of man. Not by God. He gave us our free agency and unfortunately that agency often affects others in a negative way. If we as a people all treated others with respect, paid our employees fair wages, and were just generally honest most of the worlds problems would vanish.

I will try to do a more positive post soon. Maybe one involving our Elf on a Shelf Cheeky!

That time of year again.

For most people this time of year is full of fun, excitement  gratitude, giving, and a general good spirit. Not for us however. This time of year is the Job Search for English folks trying to find work of any kind. It is full of anxiety, dread, depression, and UNKOWN. It is my Hubby's 5th year of doing this and we are done emotionally. So done in fact we are not even really talking about it anymore. He fills out applications and occasionally tells me about one that was particularly difficult or obscure for some reason but other than that I am in the dark. I like it that way. This way I don't start hoping and dreaming about possibilities for the future. We have no idea where our future will be and what we will do and how we will support our family. All I know is that when things seem impossible a way is provided and we work it out. This does not mean that we have everything we want this means that the bare necessity's are provided for. Literally I am excited just to be able to buy groceries and pay all the bills in the same month. Barring Dental and car issues or things like like we are scrapping by which I am immensely grateful for. For those added dilemmas family and friends have looked out for us when needed. I apologize if this seems negative. That is not my intent. This is just how life is for us now. It is very different then what I pictured almost 16 years ago when we got married or even 5 years ago when we started the job search. My expectations are drastically different. I now don't expect to ever own a  home. That is ok. We are so blessed compared to many. Why things keep working out for us and not so many is beyond me. I have met so many hard working people over the last few years that are worse off than we are. My children are healthy and have clothes that fit, We have a place to live, and car to drive and most of the time can afford the gas to drive it. A particularly hard aspect of the job market for me is everyone tries to spare Eric so instead of asking him they ask me how the job search is going. Here is my answer. Who Knows. Until a job offer has been made requests, interview, fly outs, they all mean nothing. Trust me when when I tell you that if a job offer has been made you will all hear about it rather quickly. Please stop asking. It makes us feel like we need to console the rest of the world as we deal with the impossible unknown ahead of us. Since interviews take place the week after Christmas we try to stay positive and remember why we are celebrating but that underlying fear remains. Pray for us that a job will be there next year. Thank you for reading my rant. I really do hope you all have a great Christmas and Holiday Season and can find the joy in it. Do something kind for someone else. You may not know how much they really need it. We have had so many small kindnesses done for us that meant the world and provided little things that made a huge difference.