So Many Things!

Today's post has many Gratitude's in it. I feel I must give you some insights into my life currently. I have been a student wife for over a decade. We have 3 children and just as my wonderful husband started to enter the job market everything crashed. As a result after 4 years now of trying to find a permanent position it still has not happened. We have miraculously still been able to survive without moving in with any of our parents (barely but still), About 5 years ago I started having a sense of I won't be here for very long so I made peace with leaving the beach, friends, the only home my children have ever known, etc. I stopped trying to make new friends because I knew I would be leaving soon. Almost 5 years after this I have to say that it really and truly sucks to have been left by almost all of the friends I did have at that time. When we first moved here I hated watching my friends move one by one but a good friend promised that one day it will be our turn to move on, buy a house, be able to afford all our bills etc. I am so completely tired of still being here. Don't get me wrong in those 5 years I have made some wonderful new friends and retained some lifelong friends that I know I will never loose. I am grateful for those I just am ready to move on to the next phase in my life. What I am afraid of right now is that the next phase is not going to happen. We may not get a fantastic job. We may live barely scrapping by for the rest of our lives. I am slowly coming to terms with that. Ok enough complaints this is suppose to be a gratitude blog. I am Grateful for Playgroup, Old friends who come to visit, Friends that are moving on, friends who are still here. There was a particular playgroup last summer that had all of this at once. It was Katie Erbs last playgroup with us (as well as Jolie, Leah & Cal), I had an old friend Carol visiting us, Many friends who will be around for awhile and as I look at the pictures two other family that have moved since then, the Fleming's, and the Day's. I makes me want to cry thinking about this. I am grateful for the time I have had with all of these friends. They have all meant different things to me at different times but definitely worth the heartbreak of watching them move on with their lives. I am grateful for the many, many days I had the privilege of attending playgroup. This year all my kids are in school and I miss it terribly. Whenever someone asks me to babysit I tell them I can if it is on Tuesday so I can take the kids to playgrooup.
Thank you to all who listened to my many rants, I know there were more than my fare share. Thank you for sharing recipes, parenting ideas, craft ideas and for letting me be your friend. Thank you for not being too offended when I discussed personal matters like circumcision,  vasectomy's, birth control, and many things not appropriate to mention on a public blog.